Let my teaching drop as the rain, My speech distill as the dew, As raindrops on the tender herb, And as showers on the grass.
Deut. 32:2

Saturday, April 07, 2007

NO news yet

Our friend, who's son interviewed (film & television) the day before ds first audition/interview (visual arts) received his Acceptance/welcome letter today!

Maybe we will hear something on Monday.

God knows best. I am excited either way. If he gets in I will be excited for him & this new adventure in his life. If he does not, I will be excited (& scared) for me & the challenge of homeschooling a highschooler.

I keep praying. I don't know what to think. For the 1st time I feel our educational choice is being 'accepted' by the 'other side' instead of feeling that twinge of 'outsiderness'. kwim?

Sure I have my 'support boards' online....but imagine, being all alone IRL. Or always feeling like it. kwim? Feeling like those who are continuing to homeschool their children through highschool are smarter, more organized, more disciplined, more patient, more everything you are not.

For the 1st time I don't feel confident. I don't feel I have the necessary tools to continue to home educate my son effectively through highschool. I know the academic tools & resources are out there......somewhere. I can't just 'wing' it like I could when he was 7. kwim?

BUT...I can't decide if it is really a lack of confidence or a lack or determination. Am I just being lazy? Am I giving into the 'wordly mentality'. Now I am beginning to doubt our choices in even considering this school.

All I know is that I did not want to hold him back either way. I am relying on God's will here because my own will is confused. I need direction from God. I can't make this decision on my own anymore. Either way, I will accept it. Cause how can I know unless I put it out there right?

I keep falling back onto that 'legalistic homeschool mentality' & I don't believe that can be right either. right?

1 comment:

Brandi & the Zandi's said...

If it helps at all.. you aren't alone. I feel the same way about our upcoming high school adventures. As the books start coming in, the more nervous and excited I get. EEK! I just looked at through his future GEOMETRY book today. YIKES!

This is uncharted territory and it IS a big deal.

I have been feeling better about it lately but I was totally freaking out about all of it for the last year. I am at peace though that this is where Ian should be...now I just need to get up my confidence level and do it.

We can do it together, that way neither of us go it alone. ;-)

We have some pretty amazing sons. Knowing them and God, we will do just fine....and so will they.